A Hamburger Eating Contest
by Klowee von Karma
Summary: Phoenix and Maya go to a fair for the day and meet some characters in a hamburger eating contest.


"Come on, Nick. You promised," Maya said. Phoenix sighed.

"What did I promise this time?" he asked.

"You don't remember?!" Maya asked, shocked. If Pearl was there, she probably would have hit him. There was a silence as Phoenix tried to recall. Maya gleefully told him after giving him a second or so. "You promised to take me to the fair, remember?"

Phoenix blinked, still confused. Then, he remembered.  
"Oh, yeah. Weren't we going to do that with Pearls?" Phoenix asked.

"Yeah, but I want to go now," Maya replied.

"You do realize this costs money, don't you?" Phoenix asked. "And it's not like I have lots of cash-" Maya pulled him out the door.

"Well, since you're already outside, let's go!"

Phoenix decided not to press the issue any further as he got onto the bus with Maya. They sat next to each other. Maya was quiet for only a few seconds.

"You know I've never been to a fair before, right?" Maya asked excitedly.

"Yeah. I know," Phoenix replied.

"I can't wait to check out the rides," Maya said. "And the food!" Phoenix chuckled.

"I bet you can't," he said.

"Why are you laughing, Nick?" Maya asked.

"It's nothing," Phoenix said between laughs. "We'll be there soon."

**~*~**

"Come on, Maya. You've already been on all the rides," Phoenix said to Maya, who was dragging him along.

"Yeah, but I haven't been in this building," Maya said excitedly as she pulled him into a wooden hut.

"Hello," a feminine voice greeted when they walked in. "Are you here for the hamburger eating contest? Hey, wait...You're Mister Wright!"

"M-Maggey Byrde?! What are you doing here?!" Phoenix asked.

"I am serving hamburgers. If you want to enter the contest, it'll cost ten dollars."

"Pay up, Nick," Maya said before running to the nearest table.

"But I only have ten dollars!" Phoenix said.

"That'll be twenty dollars," Maggey said.

"T-twenty?! I thought you said it was ten!"

"Yes, sir, but since you're paying, you're officially her partner, so-"

"W-WHAT?!" Phoenix stammered. Maggey held out her hand expectantly. Phoenix sighed and gave her his last twenty dollar bill. Then, he trudged over to Maya's table.

"The contest will begin in five minutes," Maggey announced.

**~*~**

"Hey, Nick, look! There are lots of familiar faces here," Maya said excitedly. "There's Gumshoe, Edgeworth..."

"What?! I could imagine Gumshoe being here, but Edgeworth?" Phoenix asked.

"Wright," Edgeworth said, noticing Phoenix and apparently overhearing what he said. "Would you believe me if I told you Gumshoe drugged me and carried my unconscious body here?"

"Um...No," Phoenix said. "But I don't believe you're here because you want to be, so I guess I'll just have to pretend I believe you."

"This is going to be fun, pal!" Gumshoe said excitedly. "I can't wait to win the prize!"

"Indeed," Edworth said, clearly not feeling the same way. "So, what brings you here, Wright?"

"What? Or who?" Phoenix asked. Maya glared at him.

"Ah, I see," Edgeworth said with a smirk. "Good luck."

"Yeah. Good luck to you, too," Phoenix said as Edgeworth and Gumshoe turned back around. Then, he heard some commotion.

"I'm sorry, sir, but it is recommended you have a partner," Maggey said.

"Ha! I only need one thing," a familiar voice said. "My cup of Joe." Godot took a sip of coffee and proceeded to sit down at an unoccupied table. Then, Maya gasped.

"Look, Nick," Maya whispered and pointed. Phoenix looked the direction Maya was pointing and gaped, only to get whipped.

"Ow!" Phoenix yelled.

"It's not nice to stare, Phoenix Wright," Franziska Von Karma said evilly. Manfred, who was sitting next to her, snapped his fingers.

"Begin the contest," he said before snapping for emphasis. "Now!"

"That doesn't work here, sir," a poor, wimpy looking man said.

"Would you prefer the taser?" Manfred asked.

Phoenix shivered and turned to look anywhere else. He caught a glimpse of Edgeworth's troubled face before seeing Lana and Ema Skye. Lana smiled warmly at him, and Phoenix smiled back. Then, he was jolted out of it by a conversation.

"Who is your partner, sir?" Maggey asked.

"I don't have a partner," Jake Marshall's voice replied. "We Texas desparados travel alone. My only companion is my steed, Billy, and he don't do so well with hamburgers."

_Is his steed a horse or a car? Seriously!_

"I thought your cactus's name was Billy," Ema interjected.

"Oh, Billy...I buried him this mornin'" Jake replied.

"I'm sorry..." Ema said sadly after a pause.

"He ain't had time to grow yet." Phoenix smiled while Jake sat down.

"Nick," Maya said. "I don't get it."

"I'll explain later," Phoenix said, trying not to laugh at Ema's shocked face.

Then the bell rang.

**~*~**

Phoenix looked around at all the competitors. Maya was gobbling down her burgers and so was Gumshoe. Edgeworth was watching with a huge scowl across his face. It was enough to make Phoenix crack up.

"Come on, Nick! We're losing," Maya said with a mouthful of food and accidentally spitting some burger onto Phoenix, who sighed and wiped it off his face. Then, he turned back around. Lana was slowly and graciously eating her burger while Ema was sticking various needles and probes into hers and scribbling in her notebook. Phoenix smiled. Then, he heard a whip crack, which snapped his attention to the Von Karmas.

"Put less ketchup on the burger, you foolish fool," Franziska screamed as she whipped the poor man in front of her.

"More mustard," Manfred said before snapping and screaming, "NOW!"

"B-but sir, there's no more..." a stuttering man began just before Manfred tasered him.

"MORE MUSTARD!"

Phoenix shivered and looked at Jake, who was putting burgers in his hat and lasoing the burgers on his plate before eating them. Then, Phoenix saw Godot and heard some of what he was saying.

"Come on, Joe. Help me win," he said, dipping a burger into his coffee. Phoenix snickered since he knew that would come back to haunt the coffee addict.

"We have hit the half-way point!" Maggey Byrde announced. Phoenix knew with Maya on his team, he couldn't lose. He smiled as he turned back to his plate so he could try to eat a burger...

**~*~**

Phoenix looked at the clock. The round would be over soon, and Maya was still cramming in as many burgers as she could. Gumshoe was also picking up the pace. Edgeworth was still scowling. Phoenix looked around the room.

"ROUND ONE IS OVER!" Maggey Byrde screamed. Just seconds before, the Von Karmas had ten burgers on their plates with the perfect amount of toppings with huge smiles on their faces.

"We are ready to begin," they said in unison. Poor Maggey got whipped and tasered when she said the round was over. Meanwhile, at the Skye table, Lana had probably managed three burgers, and Ema finally finished her probing the burger on her plate.

"I got the percentage of sodium in these burgers," Ema said. "It's-" And that's when Maggey interrupted with her announcement.

"I either eat the last bite of my hamburger and go on in the competition, or I can have my last sip of coffee," Godot said. He looked at the coffee. Then at the burger. Finally, he drank the last sip of coffee and spat it out. "This tastes like hamburger!" he screamed, outraged that someone had defiled his perfect cup of coffee. And that's when Maggey announced the round was over.

"Ordinarily, I would clear this whole valley of cattle and eat them all," Jake said, "But these cows probably had a terrible farmer. They don't even taste good. I still ate more'n Billy could've, though. That don't say a lot, but we desperadoes need something positive to look at in everythin'. Otherwise, we-" Maggey interrupted with her announcement.

Since Maggey was recovering, somebody else took the megaphone.

"We will now tally up the hamburgers. You had to have eaten at least fifteen to move on," he said.

"Jake Marshall: 14 burgers  
Godot: 14 burgers  
Skyes: 3 burgers  
Von Karmas: 0 burgers  
Edgeworth/Gumshoe: 25 burgers  
Phoenix/Maya: 25 burgers.  
That means we have a tie!" the man exclaimed. "Therefore, we need to move on to THE TIE BREAKER!"

Phoenix had a bad feeling about a tie breaker...

**~*~**

"Okay, for the tie breaker, we have here 100 hamburgers. Whichever team can eat all of the hamburgers in front of them first wins! On your mark...Get set...GO!" Maggey shouted. She recovered nicely from being whipped and tasered at the same time. Maya and Gumshoe promptly crammed as many burgers in their mouths as they possibly could. Phoenix stared at the burger in front of him. Edgeworth stared as well. At the same time, both of them picked up their burgers and took a bite. Edgeworth immediately spat his out.

"Ugh. Who made these grease balls?" he asked. "This is the worst burger I have ever had."

_Not bad,_ Phoenix thought as he took another bite. Edgeworth sighed and eventually downed the greasy burger.

"I can't eat any more of these," Phoenix said. "They're too...greasy."

"Indeed. I personally don't know how anyone can stand these things," Edgeworth said. Then, Phoenix looked at Maya and Gumshoe, who had already downed 98 hamburgers each. Their hands were shaking as they each reached for the burger in front of them.

"Are you sure you want to meet the chef?" Maggey asked Edgeworth and Phoenix. They both looked at her. "Because he's coming out right now."

Phoenix and Edgeworth stared at the counter to see who was coming. Then, out burst Armstrong.

"Ooh la la! Did you enjoy my burgers?" he asked. Both Maya and Gumshoe stared at him for a moment.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Gumshoe yelled.

"Yeah, me too," Maya said hurriedly as she and Gumshoe ran to the nearest available bathroom.

"How could you say that? It's too much for a woman like me to bear. Non!" Armstrong said before running off crying. Several hours later Maya came out of the bathroom and went over to Phoenix as Edgeworth and Gumshoe were going away.

"I should never have joined that hamburger eating contest, Nick. We could have spent that money on better things," Maya said.

"It looks like you've learned your lesson," Phoenix said.

"Yes, I have, Nick. I'm never joining an eating contest again."  
"Come and join the steak eating contest!" Maggey announced. "It will start in five minutes." Maya eagerly sat at a table.

"Pay up, Nick," she ordered.

"Nooooo!" Phoenix screamed over dramatically as Maggey put out her hand to accept his money.

The End


End file.
